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I Found Out My Wife of 18 Years Had Been Cheating and Sending N*de Photos to a Man - Devastated Man Writes

*Photo used for illustrative purpose*
 
A man has narrated how he found out that his wife of 18 years who gave birth to his three children was cheating and sending her n*des to a man. 
I caught mine by discovering a "secret" email account she had where they had exchanged n*de photos, made plans to meet, talked about previous meetings, how much they missed each other, etc.
 
This was after being together for 18 years, and having 3 children.
 
I felt overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions. I felt like the ground fell out from beneath my feet. I felt like my world was collapsing down around me. I had my first panic attack. I was angry, but more than that, I was devastated. My mind raced with all kinds of thoughts. Of all the lies she had told me. My stomach twisted in knots of anxiety. It made me question myself in so many ways.
 
How could I have lived with her for so long and believed I was so close to her and that I knew her so well? She was always the person deadset against cheaters, very judgemental, she always acted as though honesty was such an important thing, was it all an act? Was it all BS? The person I thought I knew didn't match up at all with this person I just discovered.
 
How could she do this to me? How could she so easily lie to me, manipulate me, hurt me? What did I do to ever make her OK with treating me this way? How could she be so cruel to me?
 
Coming to terms: I've looked at it from a million angles, and have a better understanding now of how she was feeling and how it happened. But I can't say I've come to terms with it yet, after 2.5 years. It still hurts.

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